


everything will be better in the morning

by potatoandleeksoup



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Akumatized Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Bullying, Hurt Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lila Rossi is a bitch, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Identity Reveal, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, gabriel finally learns, no beta because we freaky!, set vaugley on the timelinr, suicide idealation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:48:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22192813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatoandleeksoup/pseuds/potatoandleeksoup
Summary: “Princess, please,” he cried“Just grab my hand, ok?” he begged“No! No, no, Chat, I ca- I’m,” i sobbed“Please,” he pleaded“I can’t do this anymore,” i whisperedhe reached, and i let go.i fell.
Comments: 28
Kudos: 507





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> please dont read if you think it might trigger you, because it probably will  
> i read somewhere that adieu was a solemn goodbye as opposed to salut, which is more casual. idk.

“I hope you know how horrible you’re being to Lila,” Alya started, her phone out seeming like she was playing a game, but she was just about to take notes. It was obvious that she was going to just tell Lila whatever we were about to argue about.

I slammed my locker door.

It was the fifth straight month that Lila was here, and she had taken away everything that she promised. Internally, I felt nothing but a hollow ache in my chest, and that was it. Externally, I was fine. And that was all people cared about. (Occasionally, I got so mad that I threw everything around in my room, and my stomach would feel sick. These usually turned into nights where the only thing I did was cry into my mother’s shoulder and couldn’t sleep.)

“What did I do this time, Alya?” I muttered to her, rolling my eyes. She narrowed hers back. 

“Nothing specific, but you’ve been a real bitch lately.” I sighed, walking past her and swinging my backpack on. She turned quickly to keep up with me. 

“Why do you keep talking to me then? I mean, we’re not friends,” I said, moving a tiny bit quicker. She grabbed my shoulder and tried to drag me back. Being Ladybug let me build up muscle strength, and I continued walking, barely paying attention to Alya’s verbal abuse. 

“No, you’re not my friend, but Lila is. She’s my best friend, and I’m sick of you bullying her!” Alya had finally caught up to me.

Bullying.

I turned around and put my sweetest voice on.

“Oh, I’m bullying her? That’s what you  _ always _ say, and it’s never true. You always rely on her accounts for when I have ‘bullied her’ and it always happens to be in private. You know I hate her, sure, but what’s the point on acting on it when everybody already hates me?”

“Because you’re-“

“Of course, that’s only my opinion. It’s most likely wrong, but wouldn’t someone popular go out of their way to hide their abuse and hatred for the other? Though, I doubt you’ve ever considered that, even though journalism is meant to be unbiased, or at least the type you love.” Alya was seething. My hand wouldn’t stop scratching my lower arm. 

It hurt.

“Did you know that eyewitness accounts are considered the least reliable evidence? But here everyone is, relying on only one. I’m sure you have a tiny amount of doubt still in your mind right? But you rationalise it through the guise of ‘belief without a doubt is simply a lie’. And it is, but it doesn’t matter what I think.” I breathed deeply. My arm stung a lot. I can tell she was staring at me.

Good.

“You haven’t spoken to me in a month, glared at me and given me disappointed faces. I don’t care anymore. N-No, I- you know what? I care so much. I hate that you’re as much of a bitch as she is. I hate her with a fucking passion, but I hate the fact that I used to be friends with you. I hate the fact that the bitch that made everyone hate me is also the fucking hell-angel that showed me who you really are.”

My arm was weeping so much. I was crying. Alya was surprisingly stoic. I suddenly heard someone else cry.

“Oh, Marinette, I knew you hated me but not that much! Oh!” Lila started sobbing about how worried she was about me and upset that she would never get her to like me. I stared at the ground, red-faced and puffy. I felt deaf, and started to walk away. I saw Lila fall to her knees sobbing. Alya grabbed me again. I couldn’t be bothered to stop her. (I found myself wanting to be punched in the face by her, because I really am a bitch.) I stared at Alya. She stared back. She took a deep breath and looked me dead in the eye. My head was filled with cotton. My arm was weeping, and it stung. I could tell that whatever Alya was about to say would sting more.

“Marinette, maybe you should just kill yourself,” she finally said, looking down.

I felt nothing. I gripped my bag straps tighter and smiled.

“Maybe I should,” and I walked away.

* * *

They say you should get rid of toxic things in your life, and I finally realized that I was the thing that I needed to get rid off. I smiled, and stared down at the box of things that reminded me of my old friends. Peeking into it, I felt that maybe they were right when they said that I was delusional and that Lila truly did care about me. I laughed, and pulled up the note that I was drafting for Master Fu. I thought that it might as well have some use. 

Tikki only exists when I want to transform. I didn’t want her fretting presence otherwise. She didn’t deserve to watch such a shitty Ladybug go about her sad life.

(“You need to stop self-isolating, Marinette! I’m really worried about you, please at least talk to your parents!”)

I sighed. Lila was also a bitch to Ladybug when they were alone. She couldn’t escape that, but at least Ladybug’s reputation wasn’t tarnished. Lila needed her friendship to be popular. Marinette climbed into bed, even though it was only five o’clock.

I was giddy for tomorrow, because I was going to give my classmates a gift they wanted. After a minute, I threw off the covers, realising that I needed to burn off this energy.

“Tikki, transform me!”

I bounded over various rooftops, deciding which one would be the best. My eyes ended up on a tall one that was an extension of the local shopping centre. There was a crane parked on top of it. I stared, and eagerly bounded over.

It was perfect.

“I didn’t expect to see you out here, m’lady,” I grinned.

“Just enjoying the heights.” Chat turned to me, confused. His ears flopped over.

“The heights? Don’t you mean the sights, bugaboo?” I smiled at him.

“Ah, of course. My bad, I guess it was a word mix up.” He smiled, and sat down on the ledge with me.

“You know, this is the first time in a long while that I’ve seen you this happy,” I furrowed my brows. 

“Really?” I asked, tilting my head.

“Really Really,” He nodded. 

We watched the sunset in silence, and I stood up.

“This was nice, Chat. I hope you live a good life.” He looked confused again. I smiled again.

“Uhh, thanks? I guess?”

“ _ À la prochaine _ , Chat.  _ Adieu.” _

“M’lady?” He asked. I was already gone.

* * *

I woke up with a start. I wanted this last day of school to be good, so I got up early. Walking down, I bid my mother good morning. She jumped slightly. 

“Marinette! Gosh, I wasn’t expecting you up this early!” I sat down as she passed me a warm croissant. (She made me a different breakfast each morning when she noticed I wouldn’t feed myself at all.) I bit into it.

“Wow, did Papa just make this? It tastes great!” My mother smiled slightly. 

“I’m glad to see you’re in a good mood this morning.” 

“Yeah, I wanted to try and be on time today.” I stood up, heading back to my room. I wore a long sleeve shirt to bed, and had already decided on wearing a cute cropped sweater to school. Putting that and some jeans on, I walked out the door, bidding Mama and Papa  _ adieu.  _

(I missed their concerned glances.)

Walking into school, I felt everyone’s eyes on me. Alya glared from a distance, and Adrien gave me a disappointed glance. I didn’t care anymore. I walked over to my locker, and was about to open it when I heard footsteps. Turning around, I saw Alix.

“Hi, Alix!” I waved. She glowered. Slamming her hand beside me and onto the lockers, she started to speak.

“So, word on the street is, you were the one who stole my skates,” I tilted my head. 

“What are yo-“ She grabbed by my arms and swing me into the locker. I winced.

“Don’t fucking play stupid, I know you took them! You’re a fucking bully, but I don’t know why you’re now targeting me!” Suddenly, Mme. Bustier stormed in.

“Girls! What on earth is happening here?” It was phrased as if she already knew what was happening. If I were a past version of myself, I would’ve thought that this would be true proof to a higher authority that other people were physically attacking me. However, this had happened a surprising amount of times that I knew nothing would come of it.

“I want an answer. Marinette?”

“I don’t know what Alix is talking about.”

“Bullshit you don’t!” Mme. Bustier gasped, about to tell Alix off for her language, but was cut off.

“Where are you keeping them, huh? Your locker?! Open it! Open it, open-“

openitopenitopenitopenitopenit

Inside my locker were Alix’s rollerskates. I felt blank.

“Marinette, I knew you had gone off the rails but theft? We’re going to have to get the police invo-“ I picked up the rollerskates. Everything felt silent. I could hear nobody but him.

“Marinette,” he breathed. I frowned.

“I want to give you the power to payback against the people who’ve doubted you and your integrity! All you have to do in return is give me the Ladybug and Cat miraculous,”

My mind was too strong to give them up, but I still yielded to the offering.

I still stood in my place, wearing the rollerskates and blindfolded. My hands glowed black. But I felt strong, and willed the power to what I wanted. Something to help me disappear.

Waving around my hands, I smiled.

“Thanks, Hawkmoth,”

and cut off the connection.

The room was filled with thick black smoke, and I tried to look around, but the blindfold wasn’t removable. It didn’t matter, because I would find the place I wanted to go to no matter what. Skating away, I heard people chasing me.

“She’s an actual criminal! You can’t let her get away!” I didn’t know who that was, Mme Bustier or Alix? I skated faster. And someone even faster caught up to me.

“So, I’m guessing that you’re Marinette? Not the most dramatic change for an Akuma, I might say.” Whatever. It’s not like Chat could stop her.

“Wait, what? Another butterfly?” He sounded surprised. I was suddenly imbued with Hawkmoth’s power once again.

“You know my power comes at a price, right? Give me the miraculous, or I’m taking away the powers I’ve given you.

“Do it. I don’t care anymore.”

I stopped skating and fell flat on my face. He took it away.

I didn’t care. I was here. I ran into the building, and hid in a stairwell.

“Tikki, transform me!” Ladybug was here. She was here.

“Hey, bugaboo!” He was here.

“You just missed the Akuma. She de-evilised on her own,” he started, but I ran up the stairs. I didn’t want to listen to him. I heard his confused m’lady as I made my way up. I wasn’t supposed to see him again. Last night was perfect. I ruined it.

“Ladybug, what’s wrong?” He was still following me. I slammed open the doors.

We were now on the roof.

I quickly climbed up the crane, grateful that it wasn’t in use right now. He hadn’t seen me do it. I looked down.

“Tikki, detransform me,” I breathed. This was it. I felt my heart start beating as I gripped the crane bars. Chat had also finally noticed me.

“Oh shit!” He yelled. I kept staring down, but felt something heavy land beside me.

“Mari, what are you doing? How did you get up here?” I smiled, and turned to face him.

“I’m doing exactly what it looks like, Chat Noir.” He let out a small gasp, and tried to grab me. I leaned back, still keeping a tight grip on the bars.

“H-hey, Mari, it’s okay, um,” he grimaced as he tried to find the right words to say. I stepped back so that my heels were hanging off the edge. His eyes widened and he moved his arms to grab me again, but stopped, remembering what had happened last time. I teared up.

“Princess, please don’t cry, just grab my hand, okay?” He held his hand out. We both knew that if I tried to grab it he would have to pull me up really fast, otherwise I would fall.

“No. This is it for me, Chat.” Tears fell from his eyes.

“Look, I know you’ve been having a hard time at school, and that you think you have no friends bu-but I can be your friend!” Liar.

“Princess, please, this is a very permanent solution to a short term problem!” I breathed in. He reached out again.

“Mari, just grab my hand, okay?” I shook my head, sobbing.

“No! No, no, I-I’m, I,” I sobbed. He tried to grab me again. I put a foot off the ledge.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t live anymore!” I let one hand go. He tried to grab me but-

“ _ À la prochaine _ , Chat.  _ Adieu.”  _ I smiled, falling.

“M’lady?”

* * *

  
  


I woke up in a hospital bed. I heard beeping, and turned to look at it, but was stopped. I was chained to the bed. Looking down I saw my bare arms, one with scars that looked like burns an the other pink, and covered in ointment.

“Hello, Marinette.” I turned and saw a white-haired man putting a bookmark in his book. He looked up at me and placed his hands on his knees.

“Mr Agreste?” He nodded. I suddenly felt extremely embarrassed, and went to cover my face with my hands, but was stopped by the cuffs.

“I’m guessing you’ve figured out the situation that you’re in, Ladybug?” My blood ran cold. The beeping went faster. Quickly, he continued.

“You transformed mid-fall. That’s how you’re still alive. I’m sorry to say that everyone knows now.” Tears fell down my cheeks. He looked uncomfortable.

“Where are my parents?” He turned and stared at the nurse that was also sitting in the room.

“They’re simply at home resting right now, Marinette. They’ve been by your side for the time that you were asleep. I’m here to watch over you for them.” I nodded.

“But why? Why you, I mean?”

“Not are you only an excellent young designer who consistently impresses me, but you’re also the city’s superhero. I’m sure Hawkmoth is feeling… really horrible, right now.” At the mention of Hawkmoth, I realised that my earrings were missing. Reading my mind, he spoke again.

“Your parents have your earrings. Also, I paid for a private room, so you don’t need to worry about being bothered here.” I sighed in relief, and he went to speak again.

“When my wife… disappeared, I didn’t handle it well at all. I felt completely hopeless, and wanted to…” He gestured vaguely at me. I nodded.

“But, I knew I had to stay alive for Adrien, and my company. Adrien needed me, because I knew that if I died, he would too.” Tears fell down my face as he continued.

“I thought that I had finally found a bit of hope to get my wife back, and I poured everything I had into it. Every second of every day I thought about it. I started to push everyone away even more than I had, including Adrien. What I now realise is how much what I was doing was hurting everyone,” he looked down at my cuffed hands,

“...more than I could ever realise.” He stared at the floor, and I smiled.

“Thank you,” I said, tears dripping down my face. He hummed questioningly.

“For giving me a new perspective on things.”

We sat in a comfortable silence after that, waiting for my parents to arrive. Whilst I didn’t feel better, I knew things were going to be better.


	2. after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im glad yall like this. uh, i have another chapter after this to finish it haha. so since this was originally a oneshot it might seem a bit messy, but im happy with it. thanks

To say Alya felt horrible was an understatement. She felt like the worst person alive.

As usual, she was running around chasing Akumas. This time, it happened to be Marinette. This was the first thing that made her feel bad. When she had heard about the Akuma, she was reminded of the awful thing she said to Marinette.

(Maybe you should just-)

She wanted to apologise, really, but Marinette’s weird response psyched her out.

(Maybe I should.)

And she had no idea why she had become an Akuma. Apparently she stole something? 

(She probably did, honestly.)

But as Alya stood where the Akuma was meant to be, with her phone out streaming, she saw something that made her cry. Ladybug was falling with her arms outstretched, backwards. A thought immediately came into her mind, but she tried to quell it. The thought wouldn’t go away, and she knew it was true. Ladybug was committing suicide.

(Maybe you should just-)

And she realised the gravity of the situation. 

She stared as Chat Noir leapt after her. 

She stared as Ladybug hit the ground. She stared as Chat Noir cried over her body.

She cried when she saw the transformation release, leaving a familiar body.

Marinette.

Her blood ran cold.

Marinette.

(Maybe you should just kill yourself.)

Ladybug.

“Alya! Call an ambulance!” Chat Noir yelled. Sobbing, she lifted up her phone and realised it was still streaming. It was wrong to aim her phone at the possible corpse, right? Of course it was, what the fuck was that thought?! Her hands were shaking so much that she dropped her phone. 

Marinette. Ladybug. The girl that split a macaron with her. The girl who she defended from bullying. A crowd was forming.

(Maybe you-)

She heard sirens. Someone else must have called an ambulance. Chat Noir was crying. She saw Ladybug’s kwami looking dead on top of Marinette. Marinette. Ladybug.

_ This was all her fault. _

Ladybug, who entrusted her with a miraculous. Ladybug, who had saved her countless times. Ladybug, her idol.

“Please, please, help her!” Chat Noir yelled (begged?) at the paramedics. She was taken swiftly to the hospital. People rushed to Chat Noir’s side, but he pushed them away and yelled at Alya to go back to school, before chasing after the ambulance. People noticed Alya and someone ran over.

“Hey, you’re the ladyblogger, right? What happened? Was that Ladybug?” Alya was sweating. She could feel it, but she felt like ice. The world was spinning.

“Oh my god, she’s going into shock!”

She felt someone lay her down as a second ambulance was called. She felt nonexistent. She felt like she was going to die. As she was loaded into the ambulance, she could only think one thing.

_ I told Ladybug to kill herself. _

* * *

When she returned to the classroom the next day, the only topic was Ladybug. Who was Marinette. A crowd had formed around Lila.

“I can’t believe that the person who came to me for help at night was the same person that bullied me constantly!” Lila sobbed. People went to comfort her.

“It’s just, oh, why? Why would she only be nice to me when she was Ladybug?” Alya frowned. She remembered Nino mentioning that Adrien had said offhandedly that Ladybug was pretty rude to Lila once. But that can’t be right, because they were friends, right? Besides, that was a few people to go through for that fact. In any case, that just showed that Marinette was mean in and out of the costume, right? Yeah. She looked around to ask Adrien about it, but realised that he wasn’t here. He must’ve been at a work thing.

“Alya, you’re my best friend, what do you think?” Alya swallowed. She analyzed Lila’s face. Those tears were definitely real. If they weren’t, then it would be obvious.

_ Right? _

“Uh, I think,” she looked around at all her classmates. All eyes were on her.

“I think, that,”  _ That it’s all my fault. That Lila was possibly ly- _

“I think that you tried your hardest to be friends with her, Lila. And that maybe she was really too afraid of being friends with you as herself. You did your best, girl,” Alya said, looking out the window. Lila leapt at her.

“Thank you Alya! It is so nice of you to say that! But,” Lila paused, holding her hands behind her back and glanced at the floor before looking up at her again.

“I can’t help but feel that I didn’t try hard enough to be her friend as Marinette. And despite how mean she was to me, I still want to try! Oh,” Lila started sobbing again. Mylene piped up.

“Maybe she felt sad herself, and that's why she was so mean all the time!” Max nodded.

“That is the most common reason bullies are the way they are,” he said, satisfied with herself. Alya felt herself talk without realising.

“But she tried to kill herself… And if she wasn’t Ladybug, then she would be dead.” Someone else spoke as Alya went into her head.

“It did seem like it was a bit attention-seeking…” 

“No! That’s not what I meant!” Alya screamed. Everyone stopped murmuring and stared at her.

“I meant, the way Chat Noir was reacting, it didn’t seem like she transformed by herself. “ Lila narrowed her eyes. 

“Seemed? You were the one there, Alya. Didn’t you catch it on stream?” Lila muttered, with an underlying chill in her voice. Alya froze.

“N-No, um, I,” She looked up at Lila with wide, tear-filled eyes.

“Oh, and you were in the hospital yesterday for shock, right? You must still be feeling queasy,” she mentioned, looking around at everyone. Some were nodding their heads, whilst others were looking at Alya with doubt in their eyes. This didn’t add up. None of this added up. Marinette was Ladybug. Marinette was mean. Ladybug was a hero. (Attention seeking? Sad? Suicidal, anxious mess?) Lila was crying.  _ Lila sort of… snapped at me, right?  _ Alya went to talk again but was stopped by the bell. They walked into the classroom, followed by Mme. Bustier.

It was going to be a long day, but a plan was forming in her head. She was going to find out the truth.

* * *

Chat followed the ambulance in a panic. His lady had fallen, and he hadn’t caught her. Tikki was in his hands, seemingly dead. He had scooped her up when the crowd started forming, but never leaving his lady’s side. Running was slightly hard with his hands clutched in front of him, but he had to reach his lady. He felt a slight movement in his hands but kept running. Tikki had to wait. His lady needed him.  _ But Tikki saved her. _ Chat stopped and ran into an alleyway. His lady- Marinette, would be okay. She was going to get medical care, that was certain. But Tikki had no one but him.

“Tikki?” He asked, opening his hands and peeking in. Tikki was very sick. 

“Shit, shit- Tikki, what do I do?” Tikki coughed out one word.

“Plagg,” and she went limp again. Chat started to cry.

“No, n-Tikki! What does that mean? Plagg what? Tikki!” 

(Cat wielders were not known for their resourcefulness.)

Chat stared at Tikki and cried out again. Someone from the street heard him and walked into the alley.

“Chat Noir, I heard about Ladybug, are you okay?” Chat jolted around and closed his hands. He had to be alone again. Bolting out of the alleyway, he searched for somewhere else private, before suddenly realizing what Tikki had meant. He had to ask Plagg. Running as fast as possible behind a dumpster, he detransformed. Plagg fell out of the air, and Adrien was reminded of how Ladybug also fell. Plagg, however, was live immediately, and thankfully didn’t require cheese to recharge.

“Plagg! Plagg, how do I help Tikki?!” He asked frantically. Plagg flew anxiously around Tikki before speaking.

“Kid, you have to take her to the guardian!” Plagg yelled, before jumping into his jacket pocket. He yelled at Adrien once again to put Tikki in there with him, and then told him to hurry up. Adrien complied and ran to where he remembered the guardian residing. He had only been there once or twice, but he knew Ladybug had been there many times. Was it more polite to call her by her actual name? Adrien shook his head and ran faster. All he ever wanted to know was who his lady was, but not like this, never anything like this! He felt tears run down his face but didn’t allow himself to truly cry. He was all the kwamis had right now.

Reaching the Guardian’s residence, he ran up the stairs, before knocking furiously at the door. Fu opened the door solemnly and ushered him in.

“Adrien. I’ve been expecting you.” As he closed the door again, Plagg flew out with Tikki in his arms. He placed her onto the pillow and sat next to her. Fu rushed over and started performing what to Adrien looked like kwami CPR.

“Master, is there anything I can do?” Plagg answered for him.

“Go home. I’ll come back if she’s okay.”

Adrien nodded numbly, before seeing himself out.

* * *

It was weeks before Alya was allowed to see Marinette, and in these weeks much of her reputation had been tarnished. Many people dismissed the rumours as what they were, rumours. But at school, Lila pretty much spearheaded the ‘anti-Marinette’ campaign, despite how much she claimed to care for her. It was still believable that she did care for her, but Adrien snapped at her every time she claimed something like that. Alya was still pleasant to Lila, but spent no more time than necessary with her. 

(After all, she didn’t want to become the next Marinette.) 

Alya had begged Marinette’s parents to let her visit, but they were extremely against the idea. Alya wasn’t giving up though, and surprisingly Sabine said that Marinette wanted to see her. 

So she stood in the doorway of the psyche ward that Marinette was staying. A nurse walked her to a bench in the garden, and soon a girl with short hair walked over.

“Marinette?” She nodded.

“Hi, Alya,” replied Marinette, before sitting next to her on the bench.

“Your hair is shorter,” Alya pointed out. Marinette watched another patient being walked inside. She still hadn’t looked at Alya.

“Mama cut my hair for me. I prefer it like this,” she said, running her hand through it.

“Mari, I-I’m so sorry,” Alya started, choking up. Marinette finally looked at her.

“I know. And thank you for that.”

“No, I need to tell you what I’m sorry for,” Marinette raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry for doubting you, and for harassing you, and b-bullying you and,” Alya went to continue, but was cut off.

“I can understand the appeal of having someone tell you exactly what you want to hear. That they’ll get you interviews, meetings and gifts. But it’s hard to keep believing them when they never deliver, right?” She looked at Alya for an answer. She stammered before answering.

“Yeah, I guess?” Marinette nodded.

“But when they consistently never deliver, they have to resort to other methods. Gaslighting and emotional manipulation, I think. I might find me hard to believe too.”

“Oh, are you saying that we’re also victims too?” Alya asked Marinette glared ahead for a moment, before turning back to Alya with blank eyes. Alya found it spooky.

“I guess, but you weren’t heavily bullied and threatened. Or ganged up on, or made to be a public enemy. I’m not saying that gaslighting isn’t bad, because it is extremely serious. I do want to make one thing clear though,” Marinette looked dead into Alya’s eyes before continuing.

“I am not, and will not, ever forgive any of you.”

Alya froze. She looked away, and noticed a ladybug crawling in the grass. Ironic.

“I think I can understand that, but may I ask why?” 

“You were all horrible to me, and never stood up for me. You all went out of your way to pull faces at me, and treat me like less of a person at times,” she sighed, and continued.

“I’m allowed to not forgive you. I’m not forced to. And to put it simply, I’m also not going to be your friend again, Alya.” Alya nodded.

“I’m sorry,” she said. 

“I know. Thank you again,” Marinette replied. Alya looked at her again. The ladybug was crawling on her fingers. She was smiling.

“You know, rumours have been spreading about you and Ladybug. A lot of people don’t believe them, but-“ 

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not Ladybug anymore,” she laughed, and the ladybug flew off her finger. Alya gaped at her.

“You’re not?” She asked, disbelieving. She couldn’t understand how someone could give up being a superhero.

“Yeah, it feels weird. But honestly, I never wanted to be Ladybug in the first place. It was a responsibility forced on me, but I grew to like it. I was helping others and defending the city. I got to swing around and I had a partner to do it with,” Marinette explained, waving her hands around.

“But it’s a lot of pressure, and responsibility. My grades were falling, I kept flaking out on everyone and then I started getting bullied. My anxiety grew worse, so really, it’s no surprise that I also developed depression,” Marinette seemed to choke that last word out like it was hard for her to say.

“But what about Hawkmoth?” Alya asked, holding her hands together.

“He spoke to me one night through an Akuma. He said that he was giving up on trying to get the Miraculous, because he realised that he didn’t want them anymore,” she shook her head.

“Can you believe that? Anyway, I’m glad the city is no longer under any threat.”

“You believed him?”

“If I quit, then he would find it extremely hard to get the miraculous. He said that he was quitting, and that I probably should too,” She said, smiling.

“It makes sense to me. But if not, then I assume there will be a new Ladybug,” Alya noticed that she wasn’t wearing the earrings.

“I don’t want to be Ladybug again. I’ve lived my entire life for everybody else, through gifts, service and planning, but now I want to live it for myself,” she turned to Alya and smiled.

“I hope you live the life you want too, Alya. And I hope you get smarter about who you spend your time with. I certainly have,” she stood up and smiled softly.

“ _ Adieu,  _ Alya.”

(But this time she was only saying goodbye to Alya, without also saying goodbye to herself.)

* * *

Marinette was moved to outpatient care, and Chat was waiting outside the hospital for her. Many reporters had tried to camp out with him, but he scared them away before they even set up. It was the least he could do, because he couldn’t save her. The doors slid open and out walked Marinette, followed by her parents.

“Oh! Hi, Chat,” she said, slightly startled. Chat went to speak, but was cut off by Tom.

“Sweetie, do you want to talk to him?” He asked, shielding her slightly. Marinette nodded.

“I’ll be back in five minutes, okay Papa?” His face was worried, and Sabine shot him a sympathetic glance. 

(He didn’t want to let his little girl out of his sight ever again.)

“Okay, sweetie. We’ll go get the car started.” Tom squeezed her hand before moving to leave. Marinette grabbed Chat’s hand and took him to a nearby bench. They sat down in silence.

“I’m sorry for putting you through that, Chat.” Chat took both of her hands in his.

“Please don’t apologise, princess. I should’ve realised what you were going through.” He placed a hand on her cheek, and she leaned into it before moving it away.

“No, I should’ve told you, or asked anyone for help. Instead, I decided that getting rid of myself would be the best option,” she looked away. 

“I went to a lot of therapy here, and I think it really helped me. Of course, it might have only been because I could talk about being Ladybug freely, but…” She trailed off. Chat released her other hand.

“My Lady, when do you think you’re going to return to your duties?” He asked scratching his head. She looked at him sadly.

“I’m not, Chat. Did Hawkmoth speak to you too?” Chat flattened his ears.

“Well, yeah, but I couldn’t believe him! Especially when he started speaking for you!” Chat started to yell, but quickly silenced himself. He looked at Marinette sadly.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. Uh, Tikki is doing okay, has she visited you?” Marinette shook her head.

“No, but I’m planning on seeing her when I return the earrings,” Marinette replied, frowning. Chat frowned with her. Not only was she quitting, but he had made her upset.

“I think that this will be goodbye for good, Minou,” she muttered, eyes tearing up. Chat started shaking.

“No, no… We can still be together, M’lady! I know you as a civilian, all I have to do is reveal myself!” He yelled, and she shrunk.

“Oh, you… you know me as a civilian? Ah…” She moved away slightly.

“You’re the same age as me, right? The only people like that… are my classmates,” she said, squinting at the ground.

“In that case, I think I would prefer to not know, Chat Noir.” She moved to get up, but Chat snatched her hand. His ears were flat, and tears were pooling in his eyes.

“Let go, Chat,” she said, yanking her hand away. He gasped when he realised what he had done.

“No, m’lady, I’m so sorry, I-“ Marinette took a step back.

“Goodbye, Chat Noir. I enjoyed our time together, but I think it’s over,” she said, turning to move.

“It doesn’t have to be, Marinette! Just let me reveal myself! We can have a great life!” She was walking away. He was losing her.

“Plagg, detransform me!” He left a green flash of light and let Plagg fall into his hands.

“Marinette!”

She didn’t turn around, and continued to her car. She had already said goodbye to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol :0


	3. end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was procrastinating doing this for a few days and then i wrote it. i hope you like it, just a simple thing to tie things off really

My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Five years ago today, I gave up being Ladybug for good.

* * *

I never returned to the Françoi Dupont, and living next to it was too hard. Gabriel Agreste offered to pay me through my last years of high school at a program in Milan. I didn’t want to accept his offer, because it only felt like pity, but I agreed with my parents. It was too good to pass up. 

Two days after I was discharged, I got a package in the mail. Inside it was the butterfly and peacock miraculous. I sighed and realised what I had been putting off. Placing the earrings in the box with them, I put on my purse and walked downstairs into the bakery.

“Maman, I’m going for a walk,” I told her, walking out the door. She rushed after me.

“Maman…” I groaned, turning to her.

“I will be coming with you. I want to make sure you’re okay,” she said, crossing her arms. I sighed and kept walking, but let her follow me. She had every right to be concerned, but she was sometimes overbearing about it.

“Where are we walking, Marinette?” She asked, grabbing my hand. I gripped my purse strap tightly. I didn’t want to tell her the complete truth.

Whilst yes, everyone knew I was Ladybug (and my face got on the news a couple times, so occasionally people recognised me), they didn’t know the surroundings of how i became ladybug. I didn’t want people to know, and it wasn’t their business anyway. Ladybug was done. I’m not sure I could say that Ladybug ever  _ won, _ but we both fought as hard as we could.

“Marinette? Are you going to talk to me?” I rolled my eyes. She had started that when I was first becoming depressed. When I wouldn’t reply as to how I felt, she would say that. It was fair, but still annoying.

“Sorry Maman, I was lost in thought. I borrowed some sewing supplies from a friend, so I’m going to return them,” I mumbled. She studied my face for a moment.

“Are they truly a friend? Or just one of your classmates?” She asked, letting go of my hand and crossing her arms again. I giggled.

“He’s nice to me, Maman. I help him with… sewing,” I said, nearing the approach of the massage parlour.

“He? Marinette, does he live here?” She asked, pointing at the building. I nodded.

“I would really appreciate it if you waited outside for me, Maman. I promise I’ll be out quickly.” She went to argue, but I had already started walking away.

Opening the sliding door to Master Fu’s residence, I was greeted with a cup of tea. 

“Hello Marinette, it is a pleasure to see you again,” he led me over to the table. His face looked like a mix between strained and guilty. I was used to that look by now, but his seemed especially pained. I lifted the tea to my lips and took a sip.

“This is Da Hong Pao tea. I reserve it for special occasions and important guests.” I blushed slightly and nodded.

“It was thought to have once cured an emperor of a fatal illness. Of course, I don’t put all that much faith into that claim, even though it makes the tea quite expensive,” he continued. I took another sip.

“It’s quite strong,” I replied, placing the tea down in front of me. He nodded.

“It is. Don’t force yourself to like it if you don’t,” he said, placing his cup down as well.

“As much as I adore sweet things, I think tea is my only exception. I love this tea, it suits my tastes,” I say, reaching into my purse. I pull out the box and pass it to Master Fu.

“Here are the Ladybug earrings, along with the Butterfly and Peacock miraculous. He looked surprised to see them.

“How did you get these?” He asked, moving to the miracle box to put them away.

“Hawkmoth mailed them to me,” I laughed. My phone vibrated.

**SC:** Marinette it has been over 5 minutes are you ok.

**MDC:** sorry ma am having tea will ask if you can come up

**SC:** Ok.

“Master, is it okay if my mother comes up and joins us?” He thought for a moment, and nodded.

“I trust she is good at keeping secrets, yes? Otherwise, no.” I step out for a moment and lead my mother up the stairs. We walk in, and I see the shock on her face.

“Your friend is an old man?” She turned and whispered into my ear.

“Ah, I, uhm… Maman, this is Master Fu, the Guardian of the Miraculous,” he walked over and held out his hand. 

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Mme. Cheng,” he greets, and they shake hands. Master Fu passes the miracle box to me and started explaining the miraculous to her. I opened the box, and all the kwamis appeared, with Tikki in the centre. My mother looked over.

“What are they?” She asked, pointing. Wayazz floated over.

“We are kwamis, a species of god that are created whenever a new abstract concept or emotion is formed. We embody each of these wholly, and as such we would not be ‘real’ to humans without the use of the Miraculous. A mage in ancient China created the Miraculous so that we could interact with humans, and allow them to harness our powers,” Wayazz flew over to Master Fu to help him explain. The rest of the kwamis started chatting with me, but quickly stopped and flew back into the box upon realising that Tikki wanted to talk in private.

Holding Tikki in my hands, I started to cry. She was paler that she was before,but that was only very slightly noticeable.

“Tikki, I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you instead of completely ignoring you, and blocking your presence,” I sobbed. I noticed Master Fu move the divider in front of me, giving me slight privacy. Tikki sat on my shoulder.

“I’m not mad, Marinette! All I wanted was to help you. Whilst you’re one of the best bugs ive ever had, you’re also one of the most stubborn,” she wiped a tear that rolled down my face.

“I love you dearly Marinette, so I just wanted to convince you to do the same.”

Master Fu gave me the Miracle Book and a small box of tea as a parting gift. He too apologised for his contribution in my breakdown, but he also told me he was the strongest Miraculous user that he had ever seen.

* * *

I moved to Milan and lived with my uncle. I facetimed my parents everyday, and visited for a few days each break. After those years, I stayed back at the bakery for half a year when I was nineteen. The attention and criticism I received became too much, and after lots of planning and talking to my parents, I moved to Switzerland. It was easier than when I was in Italy, because where I lived had french as a first language.

I made a modest living off of freelance design and my online store. I had a cat called Tag, who was a playful but loving cat. I called my parents once a week, and I continued therapy. I was enjoying life and living. I had put my past behind me, until I received a box in the mail. It was pink and had white tufted buttons. The flower design on the top was intricate, and looked eerily similar to my designs.

“Weird,” I muttered, opening the top.

Inside were the miraculous.

I groaned in annoyance, but was a small bit excited. I missed the kwamis, and I had been studying and decoding the miracle book all these years. But seeing the black cat ring made me cringe, remembering the way Chat Noir said ‘goodbye’. Tag meowed at me, bumping his head against my legs.

“Ah, you’re hungry, aren’t you?” He meowed loudly. I leaned over to pet him.

“Let’s get you some lunch, hey?” I said, placing the box down. My life didn’t revolve around the miraculous anymore. It could wait. They’re gods, afterall.

I smiled as I watched Tag eat. I lived a great life, with lots of support. I was happy.i

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading hope you enjoyed remember if you’re going through a tough time please ask for help. you never know how your life will turn out. be happy about your future. i’m trying, so u should too :) have a good day kisses

**Author's Note:**

> catch me at my blog cowboy45 dot tumblr dot bullshit


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